Burden

by Out of Service

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01:35
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04:55
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04:11
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credits

released November 22, 2019

Produced by Nathan Hussey and Out of Service
Mixed by Nathan Hussey
Mastered by Frank Mitaritonna
Drums engineered by Sean Glonek at SRG Studios
Guitars engineered by Dylan Tasch at Midley Grange Recording
Bass, saxophone, flute, and synth engineered by Brian McGovern
Vocals produced and engineered by Nathan Hussey

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Out of Service Voorhees Township, New Jersey

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Track Name: Threshold
Threshold

Wake to the scene
Of an ordinary day
Till a siren chants its tepid song
Warning us to get away

So I run to the front
And out the window I can see
A torrent swallows everyone I love
Everything and even me

The water’s pull oh so cold
It consumes all of my breath
Panic wraps its hands around my throat
Sinks its claws into my chest

Please oh God please
I don’t know if you can see
If I try to hold on anymore
There will be nothing left of me
Nothing left of me

Do you think that I could find
A little peace and quiet in these unforgiving times
I’m such a mess
I can’t do this on my own
You can’t trust me all alone
I can’t make it out alone

You’ll never know all the things
I never have the guts to say
Spent a lifetime trapped inside my head
All my words are swept away

A frozen hand takes my wrist
And tries to keep the end at bay
If I begged you to release me would you
Let me go
Just let me go

Do you think that I could find
A little peace and quiet in these unforgiving times
I’m such a mess
I can’t do this on my own
You can’t trust me all alone
I can’t make it out alone

Do you think that I could find
A little peace and quiet in these unforgiving times

Do you think that I could find
A little peace and quiet in these unforgiving times

How do you learn to love yourself?
How do you learn to love yourself?
Track Name: Sleep
Sleep

I’ve resigned my to sleep
Moments of my life
Mixing with my dreams
The pain the panic dissipate
Never under pressure
To forge another smile
For the masses all to see

They won’t leave they didn’t get what they wanted
And now I’ll never get back

I’m running back to my castle in the sky
Where nobody will ask me why

Oh don’t ask me why
I stay in this delusion
Where my decisions can’t be hunted
Like a martyr by the pride
Hunted by the pride
Go on and close my eyes
This is what I’m looking for

I won’t leave till I get what I’ve wanted
I might never come back

I’m running back to my castle in the sky
I’m living out the lie
Where nobody will ask me
Eyes closed shut
Trying desperately to fly
I know I’m passing time
Just trying to lay down and die

This is all I’ve been granted
I could stay here forever
Time to strap in and make a choice

I’m running back to my castle in the sky
Where nobody will ask me
Running back to my castle in the sky
Where nobody will ask me why

No don’t ask me why
I’m here laying down to die
Track Name: Ash
Ash

So it seems that I’ve been all I can be
I’ve experienced a plenty trepidation in routine

Was it worthless, was it seen
Was it fear that made me weak
Was it hubris, was it doubt
I can’t stand to figure out what I was all about

So it seems
I was never meant to fly
Towards that sun in the sky
If I could change
I’d set these thoughts ablaze
Let them burn, let me burn

All I know is a lack of the composed
Were my failures one too many
Did I know all I can know

Was it talent, was it seen
Was it fear that made me weak
Was it promise, was it skill
Was this just a way to take it all from me

So it seems
I was never meant to fly
Towards that sun in the sky
If I could change
I’d set these thoughts ablaze
Let them burn, let me burn

Maybe when this life burns out I’ll find some light (Will I find you)
When the stone is laid upon me
Maybe someone will think fondly of my time (Will I find you)

So it seems
I was never meant to fly
Towards that sun in the sky
If I could change
I’d set these thoughts ablaze
Let them burn, let me burn
Track Name: Name
Take down my name
I failed again
They sound all the same
Just call my name

Follow me over
I'm waiting for you
Follow me over

Take down my name
We drown the same
Track Name: Stories (feat. Madeline Finn)
Stories

Lay down your burden she said
You’ve got nothing to hide here
Or to be ashamed about
Tell us your story
You’ll soon realize we’ve all bled

I heard a man who mourns the death of his wife
A girl said her boyfriend, beats her most every night
Over and over the stories they flow through my head

I still can recall all the times
They made me feel safe when I arrived
Why did I survive so many trials
I can’t even think

I still can recall all the words
They used to explain how much they hurt
How can I survive so many trials
I don’t even think
I don’t even think that I feel alive

A woman tried to hide how many scars her wrist displayed
A boy told me he thought about jumping off a bridge for days
These people all around here, they felt the same as me
A common understanding for the pain we want to leave

Lay down your burden she said
Lay down your burden she said
Just lay down you burden she said
Just lay down you burden
Just lay it down, just lay it down

Lay down your burden
Lay down your burden
Lay down your burden she said
Just lay down your burden
Just lay it down, lay it down
Track Name: Chemicals
Chemicals

I know that we’ve made some mistakes
While we’ve managed the fight for you
I don’t understand why I have waited all this time

Can’t see new reflections when it’s all you know
You can’t be trusted when you’re all alone
Don’t search for the answers in the chemicals
Lets keep you talking, keep you safe at home

Try your best and take a step back
While you work out the cause of this
Your body and mind could see
You’d be here eventually

Can’t see new reflections when it’s all I know
I can’t be trusted when I’m all alone
Don’t search for the answers in the chemicals
Let’s keep me talking, keep me safe at home

Now the scales have been twisted
And you can be damn sure they want their flesh
There's no other was to save this fate

The very first thing I remember
The different shapes held in my hand
They’re there to keep me calm and somber
But they can’t help me understand
Track Name: Burden
Burden

What did you think
You know this was a God damn shelter from your past mistakes
And I don’t know if you can see
The size of the burden you’ve placed down on me

You won’t be my one way through
I can see the doubt as it grows inside of you
I won’t ask for anything
Every word I use is a weight inside of you
They don’t understand what I’m willing to do

Time takes its toll
Tries to split you down the middle
Tries to make you prey
For wasting it away

You won’t be my one way through
I can see the doubt as it grows inside of you
I won’t ask for anything
Every word I use is a weight inside of you

I know that I’m a mass catastrophe
Not worth the breath I breathe or the ground beneath my feet
Maybe I should take my place
Next to the miscreants and thieves
Track Name: Trauma
Trauma

Searching around as you step in the house
looking high and low
For a sign you’re not alone
With ears kept open, acute to the hush
Listen for the tune
Oh someone other than you

Is she breathing, is she sleeping?
Take your time, take your time, take you time
It’s so sad
When all the weeping, lets you know

Breathe in, breathe out
You’re going too fast
You’re falling through
Breathe in, breathe out
You’re going too fast for me
You’re falling through

You flash to the scene, like somebody had screamed your name
And you turn to heed the call
Did your mind just go
Were you left to fight on your own
The fear just cuts you right to the bone

Don’t assume that this curse will determine your life
If you could only find it, you could feel alive
With time you’ll learn to walk with not away from the fight
You can always fight
You can fight
You can always fight
You can fight it now

Don’t just follow the scene
Keep a hold of what you can be

You can be mended

Unbeknownst to you, you won’t be free
It stays alive in you, alive in me

What you can understand
Is your heart and your mind
Compromise all the time for a life long ago

But that isn’t the life you know
Track Name: Uneasy
Uneasy

My best is so low
I’m dying to let you know
Lock my body up
Throw me away
I won’t blame you for anything

I feel almost nothing
Been judged and found wanting
Will these blistered marks subside at all
Do I chance to fly before I fall?

Cause I can’t for the life of me remember
How the stories supposed to end
Can we go back into the fold
Try this life again

I’m so afraid of starting over
I can’t see just what I’m heading to
Is this doubt a curse of growing older
Please explain to me what I should do

Cause I can’t for the life of me remember
How to look you straight in the eye
Can I let go of all this guilt
As my last goodbye

How could they listen to it
My words are wrapped in lies
A failure born from decisions not made in life
I never wanted more
Than I could hold in my arms

I’m so afraid of starting over
I can’t see just what I’m heading to
Is this doubt a curse of growing older
Please explain to me what I should do

Explain what I should do
Explain what I should do
Track Name: Erie
The doubt buries in my mind like a canyon
Endless and dry
Red with fear
Whats to stop me from losing it all again
No guarantee can be given
no promise can be made
And I'm not sure I can survive that again
So can you tell me
How do we know?
How do we know?
Track Name: Tomorrow
Tomorrow always comes and now we've got some time to commit
Tomorrow always comes but do you have the will to claim it
In spite of all the time, I really had no chance to admit
I'm terrified of life
Too scared of reaching out to live it

Will they ever get me out of my head
Find peace and wonder
Will tomorrow be a gift or a vex
Still I wonder
Whats next I wonder

Still tempted by the way they seem to take all that they can see
Can I live beside the change
Will all my efforts die inside me
Tomorrow always comes, will this become my final reprieve

I'm afraid of the possibilities
To reclaim every single inch of me
To relapse from the choices left to make
Cause if you force me then I'll dive back in again

Was it peace that you wanted anyway?
And did you finally get it?

What the risk worth the trouble anyway?
Cause now you've finally got it

Did you hear what the answers have to say?
And did you finally learn it?

Was it worth all the parts they took away?
Cause now they've gone and done it

If I don't see
A sunrise taking over
A sea serene
I won't be sure of starting over

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